and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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