oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
As shirtless as possible
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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