I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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