You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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