i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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