so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
