pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
