Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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