and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
