we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
