Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
