Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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