Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
