Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i love accidental penises.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
