Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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