so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
