You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
