Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there was a trapeze. enough said
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
