I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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