I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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