if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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