dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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