Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
