So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
