Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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