dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
