I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
