i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
