M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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