You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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