1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
