the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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