He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
