I want to walk on stilts...naked
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
