Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
