just come out here and I will go home with you...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
