bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
