oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
