I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
