Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
