smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
