How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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