So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
