Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
