Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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