I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pants are for mortals
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
