The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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