The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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