life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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