ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
